Have yourself a very merry Christmas

Have a Merry Christmas Everyone

When I was 5 years old, on Christmas I remembered the tree. It was shiny and colorful. With many ornaments hanging on it. Decorations below it was colorful ribbons that looked like a lake of happiness. My whole family was talking about things I did not understand, and the church was somehow happy because someone was born a long long time ago.

When I was 10 years old, on Christmas I remembered a lot lot of nice food and gift parcels. None of them was directed particularly to me, but I was given a sliver here and there. A biscuit to chew, a chocolate stick to bite, and there were a lot of fruits somehow. There were bottles of sweet fruity syrup and, as strange as it was, on hindsight how come there were no alcohols. Perhaps my parents were quick to remove them?

When I was 12 years old, on Christmas I remembered feeling afraid. After mass we found something was burning on the road in front of my school. There were some bad people around the country that decided to lighten up the festivity with really dangerous stuff. I felt threatened and I began to feel how useless it is to celebrate a birth of someone important long long time ago if somehow apparently not everybody liked that event after all. It was impactful because at 12 years old, I had not yet faced the concept of mortality and the mystery that is death and the faithful resurrection of the soul. But yet, during that time, I remembered feeling uneasy and afraid.

When I was 17 years old, on Christmas I remembered feeling annoyed. Adolescence was an interesting time. I did not handle competition well and the seeds of anxiety was bred, simmering in the boiling hormones. I felt annoyed on the joyousness of the occasion despite my real disinterest in how the world actually works.

When I was 20 years old, on Christmas day I remembered being curious. Curious on the escalating security that was necessary during the Christmas Mass. Curious on Catholic teachings in general. By then I was in the university, undergoing a course that I enjoyed. Learning more about science and how the human body works. I started feeling curious on the many things that have happened so far in my life that somehow led to that very moment. So, I began to learn more about the spirituality that was the building blocks of Christmas. Indeed, soon after that year, I officially enter the Catholic well of souls.

When I was 22 years old, on Christmas day, I remembered it was warm. A strange kind of warm. During that time, I was in Newcastle, just another chance that I have to explore the world and science. It was minus 13 degrees Celsius, so it was objectively cold. The snow was ankle deep, the wind bit through my skin and my skin was cracked here and there from the dryness. Yet I found a church quite nearby that welcomed me in their choir and so I celebrated Christmas there. Decorations were strewn along the road, Christmas lights were blinking near and far. Truth be told, I barely remember anyone from the church that I spent that Christmas in. But I do remember that it was…warm.

When I was 25 years old, on Christmas day, I remembered feeling blessed. It was posted before that I was stuck on a rainy day on the way to the place where I needed to go do a nightshift. It was also an interesting time because I was growing used to talk to God and improve my relationship with my spiritual side. It was a time when I realized that having a conversation with God requires practice. Sure, there is praying, going to the church, receiving communion, bible reading and many other religious activities that I am sure I have missed many. Yet I found it even more and more that when I talk to God, comes a coincidental reply from a nearby person or just a random chance occurrence…or was it random?

So now I have Christmas in Japan. Yet another location far from my original home. Another time to experience Christmas away from family and the supposed comfort. But I had a lot of fun. Sure, I felt incomplete…far from home, parents, family and the one significant portion of my heart. However, it was a discomfort that I openly accept. Such acceptance came from my personal realization of what Christmas is. For me, Christmas is about growth.

Historically, it was a time when the Kingdom of Heaven grew up enough to finally send a legit emissary to the world. Apparently, He came with a plan too! The entire thing was so intriguingly set up with many special events. It began with Virgin pregnancy. Then followed up by the intense escape from supposed assassins from the then ruling King that were looking for the new King. Imagine the journey that Joseph and Mary had to go through. Even now transporting a pregnant woman is something of challenge, try going through the desert on horseback (or was it camel back? Correct me if I am wrong). All this after thousands of years of involvement from only burning bushes and/or pillars of light.

Spiritually, for the world, supposedly the words spread and people began looking for this amazing grace that was born into the Earth. It became such an event that it supplanted the December 25^th, that apparently was a celebration for another kind of god altogether! Spiritually for the Kingdom of Heaven, it must have been really difficult for God to send His only Son. My parents had difficulty sending their children overseas to study, and that was still on the same planet. Imagine having to send your only son to a whole other world plane altogether.

And personally, Christmas is a time to acknowledge my growth. To be honest, usually I don’t grow so much. Physically, I am stuck. Mentally, I accept being an overenthusiastic anxious person. Spiritually though? Christmas is when I say Hi and Happy Birthday to Jesus in both prayers and personal time. And most of the times, He reply with a lot of good company, event and epiphanies.

So, have a Merry Christmas everyone, and as you have your fun, realize that you have grown too in one way or another. Thank you for reading my side of the story on Christmas.