A smile a day helps my dream come true
I started drafting this on the beginning of this week. With the amount of desperation currently around, I would like to breathe some fresh air and re-discover my aim. Perhaps it is something we all need.
What is your dream?
That is a question I often ask my friends. A question that obviously they do not get a lot from a society so insecure and herded towards an unknown goal. I would ask them:
"what is your dream. And not like a small dream. Not one of those achievable goals, or measurable success.. one of those dream that you want to see because you want to see something become better. Something that is hidden behind your pre-made answers because you are afraid of receiving laughter and derision at the end of your exposition. I want to know a dream so impossible that even you laugh at thinking about it. I promise, at the end of it I will not laugh. Well, at least not immediately".
See, that bit in the end I always add as a gesture of humor to melt the ice. To show them that I am serious enough to listen to them respectfully, but not so serious that the mood will become too melancholic for a lively discussion. After which, often they fall silent for several seconds, use some filler words...began slowly with a trickle of words, and after several sentences all came out like a stream out of a broken dam. I always wonder why is this so...
Perhaps that is just how the world is made. As Darwin theorized, survival of the fittest. Security and safety will bring you and your offspring far. Something that has changed in the society to a response such as "let`s be realistic here. What are you going to eat? What is your family going to eat?". I admit, in the beginning I am victim of such knee-jerk response. Trying to be realistic is easy. And it is easier to accept when I can recruit as much people as possible into that same stream. Safety in numbers inflated my self esteem.
However, I will never hate the people that decide such response is appropriate and thus spread it around. I realize that having a dream, admitting to having it, and vigorously chasing it is a difficult endeavor. In fact, perhaps some people does not even have the opportunity to realize that they can have a dream outside their own lives. I often put myself out of my own present and imagine another me in an alternate dimension where I am a farmers kid in the middle of a monsoon-dependent farm with no education. How can I have a dream bigger than having a better season? How can I have a dream that takes me away from the familiar landscape that was my farm. In another dimension I might be this kid who did not study overseas at all and lived all my life in my home country. Which led me to believe that the best place to be is home and that anything I can do to improve it is by being in the country, working in the trenches and on the field to directly impose change and impact and hence I snort derisively at those scholars that went abroad and wanted to change home "how could they if they have no idea what is going on in their own country", my alternate version would say to me. It is by this thought that I realize I should not outright blame people for being realistic and ridiculing other people`s dreams.
I was invited to a religious group gathering once. A group gathering I have never before attended and only know of their principles from reading about them. My Godfather wanted me to have a discussion with them about the spirit of the group`s namesake Saint, which was incidentally the namesake of my junior high school. I knew about the Saint and his qualities. I know of his ambition and his values. I think they were great and although I am not an avid follower of him, I do admire him as a saint. I asked my Godfather what would he want me to talk to them about? He was vague and only mentioned that I should discuss with them about motivational things. I thought that this was going to be easy, the namesake Saint is quite famous for his hard work and self sacrifice for the good of others. How hard would it be to motivate people who is in an organization with THAT quality as a namesake, right?
I went in the discussion and began the discussion by asking what are their values, and one of them asked me whether this is a test and that should I not know about them better, since I am the invited motivator. And so I said, well I did know some things, but I would like them to explain it to me in their own words. They explained how it is the spirit of doing good things for others with the spirit of self-sacrifice. Just like I read it before. So I continued and asked them the question:
"what is your dream? as an individual or as a group if you can.. what do you want to do with your life that lead you here together? I know you want to apply your self-sacrifice, but tell me for what will you do that. And don't tell me one of those achievable goals, or measurable success.. tell me one of those dream that you want to see because you want to see something become better. Something that is hidden behind your pre-made answers because you are afraid of receiving laughter and derision at the end of your exposition. I want to know a dream so impossible that even you laugh at thinking about it. I promise, at the end of it I will not laugh. Well, at least not immediately. I will wait for as long as possible, but a true dream of such measure have already appeared the moment I started this question. You have thought about it for as long as possible, you just have never practiced saying it out loud"
And then one started crying.
and then another.
and then another.
That was how the discussion started. I stayed with them for about 2 hours and slowly asked each and every one of them to tell the group their dream. And all of them, no matter first or last, told a story that began slowly with a trickle of words, and after several sentences came out like a stream out of a broken dam. I have asked this question to many people, and most of them behave the same way.
I bet by now maybe some of you are asking what is my dream? How do I answer my own question.. and here it is:
My dream is: to create a network of knowledge back home from which I can discover new things from and about all the resources (biological, technological and anthropological) that may exist back home. This is so I can contribute to the knowledge of the world.
It is not an easy dream, but as I said, if no one laughed at it at least once due to its own weight and ridiculousness, it is not a real dream. But I have to admit, it does weigh heavy on me and sometimes dark times loomed that bury my dream deep down into the abyss. I think it takes practice to admit that we have such a big unrealistic dream. It is difficult to admit that we are different than those others that want to ridicule us or even pull us down from achieving that dream. But, once you say it, it becomes a force of nature that becomes easier to say and easier to see.
Long time ago when I just started to practice saying my dream, it appeared so big and vague with no apparent path to follow. Every so often, in a discussion which began with my question, when it is inevitably my turn, I would tell my dream and people would laugh at me. Questioning my life paths in their responses and how naiive I am. But as I said previously, I can not really feel bad at them because I realize that in some alternate reality, my less-fortunate self is mocking me for my dream because they have different backgrounds and different perspectives on life. The more times I said it, the less ridiculous it sounds to me, and the better I became at explaining it with all my words and gestures. Soon enough, the laughter that follow from people are more laughter of amusement instead of condescension and people began giving suggestions of ways, small or big on how to achieve that dream of mine.
I always believed that each of us, have one of those ridiculously big dream that actually never dies. Only buried under the reality of life. Some people lost sight of this, and become trapped in their daily lives. Using realism as their shield to their creeping question of existence that some of us dismiss easier than others. My dream was buried deep in this busy and demanding world at one point of my life, and it was difficult for me to find my way through. Once, I sat on the edge of a small parking spot in front of my campus and said to a friend of mine sitting beside me.. how everyday, the world finds a way to kick us back to the shades of realism. We try our best to have a dream to help others, to be useful to the community, to become the best, but so often we fail. And so often we get kicked back to the ground by other people's words and actions just for trying to reach for the dream. He shortly replied that maybe I needed a rest.
Here I think he meant literal rest. Like, I should go home and sleep or something. But me being me, thought that maybe there is a way to rest myself away from my dream without burying it in under the many adverse situation that happened. I returned to the roots of my dream, which is to help people...and there are many ways to help people. So I also have a dream that everyday, I can make at least one person smile and/or laugh because of something I said or do. And I thought, if I can fulfill that dream, surely I can still see the bigger dream and in everything I do I can mentally tell myself that somehow, some time I can achieve that big dream. This is my source of refuge when I found myself buried.
So maybe you can say, I do have one of those "measurable success" as part of my big ridiculously naiive dream. But having that big dream helps me make my life more of a story. A story that builds up slowly with achievable goals that lead to that big dream. Instead of just a humdrum of routine activities to survive through the day.
And my personal development led me to say to you confidently that,
A smile a day helps my dream alive.
A smile a day helps my dream come true.
maybe you are one of that smile that helps my dream come true.
thank you.
A smile a day helps my dream come true
What is your dream?
That is a question I often ask my friends. A question that obviously they do not get a lot from a society so insecure and herded towards an unknown goal. I would ask them:
"what is your dream. And not like a small dream. Not one of those achievable goals, or measurable success.. one of those dream that you want to see because you want to see something become better. Something that is hidden behind your pre-made answers because you are afraid of receiving laughter and derision at the end of your exposition. I want to know a dream so impossible that even you laugh at thinking about it. I promise, at the end of it I will not laugh. Well, at least not immediately".
See, that bit in the end I always add as a gesture of humor to melt the ice. To show them that I am serious enough to listen to them respectfully, but not so serious that the mood will become too melancholic for a lively discussion. After which, often they fall silent for several seconds, use some filler words...began slowly with a trickle of words, and after several sentences all came out like a stream out of a broken dam. I always wonder why is this so...
Perhaps that is just how the world is made. As Darwin theorized, survival of the fittest. Security and safety will bring you and your offspring far. Something that has changed in the society to a response such as "let`s be realistic here. What are you going to eat? What is your family going to eat?". I admit, in the beginning I am victim of such knee-jerk response. Trying to be realistic is easy. And it is easier to accept when I can recruit as much people as possible into that same stream. Safety in numbers inflated my self esteem.
However, I will never hate the people that decide such response is appropriate and thus spread it around. I realize that having a dream, admitting to having it, and vigorously chasing it is a difficult endeavor. In fact, perhaps some people does not even have the opportunity to realize that they can have a dream outside their own lives. I often put myself out of my own present and imagine another me in an alternate dimension where I am a farmers kid in the middle of a monsoon-dependent farm with no education. How can I have a dream bigger than having a better season? How can I have a dream that takes me away from the familiar landscape that was my farm. In another dimension I might be this kid who did not study overseas at all and lived all my life in my home country. Which led me to believe that the best place to be is home and that anything I can do to improve it is by being in the country, working in the trenches and on the field to directly impose change and impact and hence I snort derisively at those scholars that went abroad and wanted to change home "how could they if they have no idea what is going on in their own country", my alternate version would say to me. It is by this thought that I realize I should not outright blame people for being realistic and ridiculing other people`s dreams.
I was invited to a religious group gathering once. A group gathering I have never before attended and only know of their principles from reading about them. My Godfather wanted me to have a discussion with them about the spirit of the group`s namesake Saint, which was incidentally the namesake of my junior high school. I knew about the Saint and his qualities. I know of his ambition and his values. I think they were great and although I am not an avid follower of him, I do admire him as a saint. I asked my Godfather what would he want me to talk to them about? He was vague and only mentioned that I should discuss with them about motivational things. I thought that this was going to be easy, the namesake Saint is quite famous for his hard work and self sacrifice for the good of others. How hard would it be to motivate people who is in an organization with THAT quality as a namesake, right?
I went in the discussion and began the discussion by asking what are their values, and one of them asked me whether this is a test and that should I not know about them better, since I am the invited motivator. And so I said, well I did know some things, but I would like them to explain it to me in their own words. They explained how it is the spirit of doing good things for others with the spirit of self-sacrifice. Just like I read it before. So I continued and asked them the question:
"what is your dream? as an individual or as a group if you can.. what do you want to do with your life that lead you here together? I know you want to apply your self-sacrifice, but tell me for what will you do that. And don't tell me one of those achievable goals, or measurable success.. tell me one of those dream that you want to see because you want to see something become better. Something that is hidden behind your pre-made answers because you are afraid of receiving laughter and derision at the end of your exposition. I want to know a dream so impossible that even you laugh at thinking about it. I promise, at the end of it I will not laugh. Well, at least not immediately. I will wait for as long as possible, but a true dream of such measure have already appeared the moment I started this question. You have thought about it for as long as possible, you just have never practiced saying it out loud"
And then one started crying.
and then another.
and then another.
That was how the discussion started. I stayed with them for about 2 hours and slowly asked each and every one of them to tell the group their dream. And all of them, no matter first or last, told a story that began slowly with a trickle of words, and after several sentences came out like a stream out of a broken dam. I have asked this question to many people, and most of them behave the same way.
I bet by now maybe some of you are asking what is my dream? How do I answer my own question.. and here it is:
My dream is: to create a network of knowledge back home from which I can discover new things from and about all the resources (biological, technological and anthropological) that may exist back home. This is so I can contribute to the knowledge of the world.
It is not an easy dream, but as I said, if no one laughed at it at least once due to its own weight and ridiculousness, it is not a real dream. But I have to admit, it does weigh heavy on me and sometimes dark times loomed that bury my dream deep down into the abyss. I think it takes practice to admit that we have such a big unrealistic dream. It is difficult to admit that we are different than those others that want to ridicule us or even pull us down from achieving that dream. But, once you say it, it becomes a force of nature that becomes easier to say and easier to see.
Long time ago when I just started to practice saying my dream, it appeared so big and vague with no apparent path to follow. Every so often, in a discussion which began with my question, when it is inevitably my turn, I would tell my dream and people would laugh at me. Questioning my life paths in their responses and how naiive I am. But as I said previously, I can not really feel bad at them because I realize that in some alternate reality, my less-fortunate self is mocking me for my dream because they have different backgrounds and different perspectives on life. The more times I said it, the less ridiculous it sounds to me, and the better I became at explaining it with all my words and gestures. Soon enough, the laughter that follow from people are more laughter of amusement instead of condescension and people began giving suggestions of ways, small or big on how to achieve that dream of mine.
I always believed that each of us, have one of those ridiculously big dream that actually never dies. Only buried under the reality of life. Some people lost sight of this, and become trapped in their daily lives. Using realism as their shield to their creeping question of existence that some of us dismiss easier than others. My dream was buried deep in this busy and demanding world at one point of my life, and it was difficult for me to find my way through. Once, I sat on the edge of a small parking spot in front of my campus and said to a friend of mine sitting beside me.. how everyday, the world finds a way to kick us back to the shades of realism. We try our best to have a dream to help others, to be useful to the community, to become the best, but so often we fail. And so often we get kicked back to the ground by other people's words and actions just for trying to reach for the dream. He shortly replied that maybe I needed a rest.
Here I think he meant literal rest. Like, I should go home and sleep or something. But me being me, thought that maybe there is a way to rest myself away from my dream without burying it in under the many adverse situation that happened. I returned to the roots of my dream, which is to help people...and there are many ways to help people. So I also have a dream that everyday, I can make at least one person smile and/or laugh because of something I said or do. And I thought, if I can fulfill that dream, surely I can still see the bigger dream and in everything I do I can mentally tell myself that somehow, some time I can achieve that big dream. This is my source of refuge when I found myself buried.
So maybe you can say, I do have one of those "measurable success" as part of my big ridiculously naiive dream. But having that big dream helps me make my life more of a story. A story that builds up slowly with achievable goals that lead to that big dream. Instead of just a humdrum of routine activities to survive through the day.
And my personal development led me to say to you confidently that,
A smile a day helps my dream alive.
A smile a day helps my dream come true.
maybe you are one of that smile that helps my dream come true.
thank you.
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